What is therapy about?

People hold many different opinions about therapy – some love it, some are hesitant to try it, and others are afraid of what may happen in the process. There is a lot of stigma about mental health and what it means to seek help. This is further complicated by two things:

An overwhelming amount of information about health, healing and wellness from media articles and social media posts, which may lead the reader to wonder why they cannot feel better. As a society we are overloaded with psychological terms and diagnoses, without the help of a professional to better unpack and understand them. We may also see and hear stories about how people overcame their challenges, again wondering why we can’t do the same for ourselves.

Secondly, there is a lot of stigma about mental health, and the types of people who go to therapy. I have heard people say ‘therapy is for crazy people’ ‘my problems are not that bad’ and ‘why would it help to just keep talking about problems, it will just make things worse’.

I am speaking now as a therapist, but later I will share some thoughts about my own experiences as a therapy client. As a therapist, I love to meet my clients, to hear their stories, and to get to know all the ways in which they have moved through life. They come in because they are stuck, and not able to move forward in a meaningful way. There may be old patterns and thoughts taking up a lot of space, making it difficult to find the path forward.

I am quite conversational in how I talk with my clients, I like to be warm and personable to help put you at ease. I ask questions which are meant to get to know and understand you, and I guide the session to ensure we touch on different aspects of your life. I am always keenly aware of your goals and what you are hoping to change in therapy. I am also assessing if there are areas of crisis or risk that need attending to.

As a social worker for 2 decades, I have seen people from all walks of life, in all sorts of circumstances and living situations. I have learned first hand that people are resilient, strong and capable. They will respond to help when it is offered in a manner that is safe, respectful, caring and consistent. So I need to show up, be professional, and show that I will be true to my word. This was one of my first lessons as a social worker. Years later training in narrative therapy helped me to learn how to ask questions in a way that can guide a process of therapy, over one hour, weeks and months.

Over time, as I work with you as a client, we start to see the problem for what it is, how it is taking up space, and what paths it is blocking. Simultaneously, I guide you to think about possibilities, where you would like to go, and how you could get there. I’ve learned that it is a beautiful process, organic in nature, and the change comes in different places, not always where you would expect.

As a client of therapy, I have learned the importance of being open, honest about myself, sharing my struggles and inner most thoughts. I make notes, I think through what is happening and the impact of feeling stuck. I have worked with different therapists over the years, each one was the right person for that point in my life. The current person I work with lives in another province. I never thought I would like remote therapy, but actually the virtual option has allowed me to talk with my therapist on a consistent basis, without interruption, regardless of the province or country I am in.

Therapy is about having a place to seek guidance from someone who can offer a different perspective, is knowledgeable about clinical mental health practice, a place to open up about fears, hopes, dreams and possibilities. To know ourselves in a way that is different from the negative messages we carry in our heads.